How to teleport – well, almost.

Yes, how we all wish we can teleport like Hiro Nakamura of Heroes. If not to the past or the future, but at least just to get from one place to another at the snap of the fingers, and in zilch seconds. Small time travellers don’t just travel long distance to other countries or states, and only hop on airplanes and buses. Sometimes, we have to be our own drivers, figure out the route ourselves and pay up on the insanely high fuel pumps.

So, this is what I think: Why spread out your appointments to different days when you can do them all at the same day to save time in so many dimensions. Sure, there is a line to draw on biting off more than you can chew, but hey, what’s life without a little adventure, especially when there aren’t much to look forward to in your life anymore.

This is how it goes.

1. Making appointments
Consider the travelling time that you will need, and I don’t mean only the time you are going to spend in your appointments, but also how much time you need to get from one place to another. Bring into mind also the rush hours and lunch hours, which you may need to put in an extra half an hour or more, give or take.

Next, consider also the journey path. What is the point of saving time and money if you travel from A to C then back to B but need to get to D and then back to A again. Know the locations of your appointments then arrange them accordingly so that it makes a straight path. Maybe not literally, but straight to not make you go on two trips back to the same location.

I managed to arrange four appointments, which are in three different locations, with two hours apart for each, and all during the office hours, lunch hours included. If you are staying in KL, you would know that Bangsar stands in between Petaling Jaya and the KL city, and you would know as well that during lunch hours (or any fucking hours for that matter), it is a headache to drive in KL. And for someone who doesn’t hail from KL, getting lost is pretty damn easier than getting on the right roads.

So, I decided to start things off from Petaling Jaya, get to Bangsar, then to KL (whereby the two locations are nearby as well), before going back to PJ. OK, so going back to PJ from KL ain’t exactly a joy ride, but one must cut some slacks too.

2. Getting directions
A map directory is always handy, but a GPS will always be handier. But if you don’t have the luxury to afford such expensive gadgets, settle for the next best thing. You can also look for a friend who has grown up in these parts of town, and is more familiar with directions.

For me, I hit up JoeVern, a kid grown up beneath the KL city lights and has – according to him – discovered every nook and cranny possible in Klang Valley. Someone as fluent as he, gave me a rough idea how to get from one place to another, which expressway to hit up, and which route is better to get on to avoid certain gridlocks. Check out the map directory along with his directions and you would already have a next to clear idea of the journey.

3. Pushing appointments forward
Time is crucial, we know that right about now. If it so happens that you manage to wrap up an appointment earlier, why not ring up the next appointment and see if they can push the appointment forward? That way, not only can you get to another location without rushing, you can also wrap things up earlier.

But keep in mind not to push things. You are, after all, riding the waves according to the wind; going against it will just break your sail and capsize your boat. If the appointed person is not free to do so – or just not nice enough to grant you such flexibility – let it be. Just head to the place earlier, hang out in your car to read a book or listen to Death Cab’s new one, or just wander around the mall a little.

4. Biting the right mouthful
If you can’t make it, you can’t make it. If you can’t fit in more than five appointments in the allocated day, you can’t. It’s Murphy’s Law, or some other guy’s law. In fact, it’s common sense, really. Would you date more than three girls simultaneously when you know each need alternate days and your money cannot support it? No. You will, at most, date two girls, and leave Sundays all to yourself. So, same goes for appointments, if you can’t go any more than four appointments a day, give it a rest.

5. Prepping for the journey
The usual drill. Make sure your car is in good condition. Yes, even when it is just travelling in town. And make sure you have sufficient fuel in the car to run for the day. Have your map directory bookmarked, or your directions in close proximity so that you can check them from time to time without getting into an accident. And, don’t be an ass: pull over and figure out where you are if you are lost; don’t just stop in the middle of the road. Ask someone too, if you may. Also, have the appointed people’s contact numbers, just in case you need to call them up.

Have a good book with you in case #3 isn’t possible to carry out. And for a comfortable drive, put in your favourite band to listen to. For me, it was Death Cab’s Transatlanticism, Plans and Narrow Stairs. But hey, each to his own. You can listen to whatever genre of music you like for all I care. As long as it keeps you from getting on a road rage, we on the road at the same time are as happy as you are.

Happy driving!

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